I was wrong about Matt. Just like I was wrong about Ryan. Just like I’ve been wrong about every guy since Jason and I called it quits. I have this idea in my head that things will suddenly just fall into place. But life has not been that kind to me. My life hardly makes sense to myself anymore. I want to believe that there are guys out there who are legitimately nice guys. I really do. But I feel like all I do is get led on. All I do is hear false promises. When will it…

When will I learn? When will I stop giving people so much more than they give me? It has got to stop. I am so sick and tired of letting people take advantage of me. I’m tired of giving people a piece of my heart and them stepping on it like it means absolutely nothing to them. I’m sick of useless “friends” who aren’t ever there. I’m sick of dating the wrong guys over and over. I’m just so fed up. I want to be numb. I want…

I’m nervous. So damn nervous. Matt is coming tonight. I repeat: Matt is coming tonight! I know, I’ve dated plenty. But this guy, he was it. I have this thing about people. When I meet them, I can almost immediately tell if they are going to mean something to me. It’s a feeling thing. I’m almost always right. I had it with him, and when he left with no word, I kind of started questioning myself. But now that he’s back it’s like the universe is shaking me…

I’m cursed with the ability to see more in people than what they see in themselves. In life, I’ve been a victim of my own naivete in this way. I see your beautiful heart, even the jagged, broken pieces of it, and I think I know it’s all good in there. But people don’t always live up to the image in your mind. I try very hard to not play with people’s emotions. If I like you, I’ll say it. If you’re using me or stringing…

Suddenly, things become real. You’re the girl who always runs, so you find your reason, and you run. You know this path well, it’s one you’ve traveled many times. You know that he could have been good for you, but you know that he doesn’t want you. You know it deep down to your core that he would rather find someone else, rather keep searching on Tinder or at the bars. You see he’s been doing it and you don’t blame him but it cuts at you. You…

We had a banter, one that was flirtatious in its own right, but nothing that I ever intended to take forward. I made this clear many times. My best friend once told me that Mitch* and I are similar in the sense that we both always go after what we want no matter what other people think. “It’s not a selfish thing, it’s a brave thing,” he tried to tell me when I got offended. I sat back in my seat when he said this, not wanting to fight. This was over a year…

I want to be with someone who is sure of me. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw: Carrie: I’ve done the merry go round I’ve been through the revolving door I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and… don’t you wanna stand still with me? Big: You dragged me out to a park at three in the morning to ask me if I wanna stand still with you? Carrie: …Yes. Yes, damn it. I have done the merry go round. I’ve been through…