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Category: Lifestyle

My Professor Resigned, But I’m Afraid of What He’ll Do at His Next School

I have kept quiet for too long. I have felt weak, belittled, and scared – for too long. I refuse to keep my mouth shut about this any longer. I refuse to pretend that I’m okay. I refuse to be quiet when all I want to do is shout. So I’m speaking up, because so many before me didn’t, and so many after me won’t. “You’re the new student? This whole time I thought you were much older,” he tells me when we meet. We are in the entry of a large hotel. There are students…

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The Impact Grief Has on You When You Find Out You’re Pregnant

A week after I found out I was pregnant, I wrote this about my grief during pregnancy. I still have some of these same fears, but I feel less terrified now that I know she’s a girl. It feels like my mom gave me this gift from the beyond. <3 —– They don’t tell you how you’ll feel when life begins again. Grief had taught me many things over the last seven months, but it didn’t teach me how to feel about new life. It didn’t tell me how terrified I’d…

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How Much Would Have Changed?

Often since my mom passed away, I think of the turns in life that didn’t happen the way we expected and I wonder if things would have turned out differently. When we lived in Germany and were getting ready to come back to the States, we were originally headed to California for our next base assignment. My mom sold every piece of winter clothing we had. At the last minute, things changed. We ended up getting stationed at Fort Drum, NY. Obviously, my mom wasn’t thrilled she’d let all our snow suits go. And…

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2016 Was A Bad Word.

Some years are better than others. That’s life, right? Well, 2016 was one of the worst of my life. I can say this in full confidence now that there’s a day and a half left of it. 2016, you’re a damn mutha fucker if I ever saw one, the biggest of bitches. Thinking about 2016 gives me similar feelings of falling into quicksand (which still seems like it should be a much bigger issue in life since all the television I watched as a child had someone dying in quicksand) or peeling the stringy…

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Those Damn Cookie Cutters: What Cookie Cutters Taught Me About Grief

*Please note this post may contain affiliate links from which I make a small compensation. If you purchase anything from these links, I truly appreciate you supporting this blog! Things do get easier. At least, I tell myself this constantly. Today. Today is EASIER! I shout at myself. Sometimes it sticks. Other times, I squish my eyes close and try to disappear. I have more happy days than sad days now. I really do. But the sad days are heavy. The moments are bold. They outlast my memory of the good sometimes. I can’t help it. I can…

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