I am so intoxicated with emotion it is hard to even put into words. Last night, I finally saw Matt. We’d had trouble coordinating so I drove to see him after he got off work. As soon as he opened the door and said “Hey,” I knew I was in trouble. He had just gotten off work so while he took a quick shower, I sat on the living room couch and called Jill freaking out. “Jill, holy crap. He is MUCH hotter than I remember. I’m dying here.”

He turned off the water and I quickly got off the phone promising I’d call her later. He finally came down and hugged me and I think the world got hazy for a moment. We went out to his car and I couldn’t remember how to speak. He opened the door for me and I slid in, noting how much of a gentleman he was.

His driving is a bit terrifying and he went on and on about being an alpha male. He is actually a little bit of an asshole. And if you know me, this is the kind of guy I like. I need a little asshole. I need a smart ass who is going to challenge me.

We went to a restaurant in fayetteville with a really awesome pumpkin porter and great seafood. We talked about politics– because thankfully we agree on that subject. We talked about Europe. He made me unbelievably nervous. On the drive back, we discussed how I’m an Alpha female. He told me he is the only person at work who isn’t tied down and how boring it is not having someone. My heart skipped a beat and screamed “please god let that be me.”

We picked up beer and argued about which root beer beer is better: Coney Island or Not Your Father’s. He thinks it’s NYF and he is wrong. The cashier agreed with me.

We got back to his (friend’s) place and watched The Awakening on Netflix. He didn’t stop touching me. It was like hot and cold flashes and it was exactly what I’d been waiting for: MAGIC.

He’s only here until mid-December. He actually won’t be here the next two weeks but he comes back until then. What’s a girl to do with that? Because he’s the kind of guy you fall hard for. He’s the kind guy who will leave you completely wrecked.

“What happens then?” I asked him when he said he leaves in December. “Whatever you want to happen,” he answered.

He’s done the long distance thing before. I know he’d do it. But it’s intimidating. He’d be thousands of miles away.

He’s the kind of guy who is worth it. I literally can’t stop smiling and daydreaming today. I feel like the best kind of drunk.

I can’t believe he came back.