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Browsing Tag: dating
“Everything is temporary until it’s not, to me,” he says to me. I’ve had to squeeze this answer out of him and at first, I’m kind of taken aback. Why would someone go through their life thinking people are just temporary? How do you form attachments like that? And why does this make it okay to treat people like they’re nothing? I’m gone soon after, because I’m not wanted, because I am just temporary to him. And although I wasn’t sure at the time…
It wasn’t always about boys. I’m sure at some point, birthdays were great. There wasn’t always a birthday curse. I absolutely believe that the days when my mom baked me a chocolate on chocolate cake and made her German lasagna and there were presents to open and people to thank, that my birthday was happy. I like to think that those days will come back to me, or that I’ll make days like them with my children. I want to believe that my life, my one day each year that’s solely about me, wasn…
I’ve gone through phases in my life trying to decide if I believe in soulmates as this grand scheme of things where you end up with someone that is destined for you to be with forever, or in the sense of Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love and whether they are just supposed to shake you up, show you your true self, and then move on. While I think that there are the latter, and these people are good for your soul in a completely different way, I leaned towards the first idea more. Maybe I watched Serendipity…
I’m not usually one with little to say, but I find myself just smiling a lot lately, unable to really form coherent sentences. Perhaps it’s just the magic of the season, or maybe it’s just magic. Whatever the case, I watch movies like Love Actually and Serendipity, and I don’t think they are crazy, I don’t want to throw up, and I actually think to myself: what a beautiful story. I don’t want to speak too soon, because I’ve put faith in people before and have…
“You’re just another 2 am,” I tell him, wondering how many times I’ve utter, or at least thought, these words over the past year. It’s a tiring concept, finding a 2 am, keeping a 2 am, not falling for a 2 am. But I’ve mastered it enough to have a couple on rotation. 2 am is the person you call when you’re drunk and lonely. 2 am is the person who gets the naked you, not the naked soul. 2 am knows barely anything about you, other than…
He was drunk the first time we met. We were supposed to have a date but he had gone out for his mom’s birthday and accidentally had too much to drink. He was going to cancel but I told him I’d pick him up anyway. This was too good of a story to pass up. I wait for a few minutes outside the restaurant. He’s being slow so I text him and tell him I’m leaving. Literally as soon as I turn the corner, he tells me he’s outside and…
It was a Saturday in August when I first met Stewart. I was standing with Burt in a circle of guys and he was across from me. I’d had a few beers, but was not drunk. He had dark hair, was slightly taller than me, and looked like he went to the gym frequently. But it was his eyes that drew me in. There was just something about them. “Who is that guy? He looks so familiar.” “I don’t know him,” Burt answered. My curiosity got the best of me and I…
I sometimes wonder if fate and destiny are real things. Then there are times like last night that I can’t help but think that they are. I can’t help but think that the text message I got was sent & received at the exact moment it needed to be. I can’t help but think that this is the universe screaming at me, opening a window, when I was too busy banging on a closed door. That’s exactly what I was doing, too. I was figuratively banging on Ryan’s closed door…
Sometimes late at night, I write because my mind won’t stop spinning. I enjoy being alone late at night, knowing that people are starting to fall asleep, entering dreams. The world gets quiet, peaceful. The accumulation of the days events swirl in my head and I think to myself, did I do better than yesterday? Did I make any kind of impact on this big, beautiful world? Some days I answer that question better than others. I’ve been both blessed and cursed with a wanderers soul, a gypsy soul. I have trouble staying in one place…
I’ve been reluctant to write about the German. Part of me felt like as soon as I did, then that was it. I’d just be writing a memory. And I didn’t want him to be a memory for everyone to read about. I wanted him to be real. I wanted those days to stay fresh in my head. I wanted them to be a comfort when I was having the constant Vienna withdrawals I’d been having lately. But I can’t keep him in my head forever. He’s…
