When You Find Your Soulmate, You Hold on Tight

When You Find Your Soulmate,Hold on Tight

I’ve gone through phases in my life trying to decide if I believe in soulmates as this grand scheme of things where you end up with someone that is destined for you to be with forever, or in the sense of Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love and whether they are just supposed to shake you up, show you your true self, and then move on. While I think that there are the latter, and these people are good for your soul in a completely different way, I leaned towards the first idea more.

Maybe I watched Serendipity one too many times growing up. I mean, come on, Kate Beckinsale was super adorbs with her British accent and who can’t resist John Cusack? It was probably one of the first rom coms that I ever watched that really made me believe in true love. I still watch it at least once a year around Christmas time.

My point is, that when you find this kind of soulmate, someone who lights up your life, who is helpful, and kind, and understanding, you don’t let them go. Some of you may have been lucky enough to find your soulmate the first time around, but I wasn’t that lucky. I went through many boyfriends, a fiance, and even a husband to find him. But, when my “fuck it!” year was coming to an end and I was exhausted with saying yes to all the adventures I’d had, and when I was starting to give up on guys in general because how the hell could I find a decent one with so many fails that year (!?), my now-boyfriend came into my life again like a beacon of hope. Maybe I was seeing in rose-colored glasses, reminiscing on a past where he was my brother’s best friend and I was just the little sister who had a crush on an older boy. But, to my dismay, he saw something in me, something he didn’t want to let go of either.

I truly believe we have to experience a lot of life before we can really settle down and be happy with someone. You have to have your “fuck it year” or, otherwise called, your “year of yes.” You have to travel to faraway lands. You have to date people you wouldn’t normally be interested in. You have to stand on your own two feet. And then, when you’re finally ready, when you’ve learned many, many lessons about life and about yourself, your soulmate will come. And you, my dear, will be ready.

So as I transition into what I believe to be the next chapter in my life, the one where I have this handsome man by my side who is kind and who treats my child with respect and love, I can’t help but reflect back on all those guys who came before and thank them for being so wrong, because if they hadn’t been, I would have never known to appreciate someone who is so right.

And when I watch him throw my son into the air, giggling with glee, I have a moment to myself looking on. The world disappears, and all there is is this amazing man and my beautiful child, and I can’t believe there was life before this. Because this, right in front of my face, is what it feels to have your soul fed in all the right ways. This is what my forever looks like, and man does it look so good.

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29 COMMENTS

  1. Roy Miller | 19th Apr 16

    Katie, I was very fortunate to find my soulmate when I was in high school. We dated for three years and then got married. Even at that early age, I knew that she was the one meant for me. We have been happily married for 45 years. We have two sons and four grandsons. Not many people can say that they found their soulmate, but I certainly did.

  2. Shounak Mondal | 19th Apr 16

    Good for you

  3. Nadine | 19th Apr 16

    This is beautiful, I know I’ve had that feeling when the world stops and you can’t remember life before them – however having suffered heartbreak with that same person I am unsure anymore about soulmate – but I want to be proved they do exist so I can have hope! Lovely post x

    • Katie | 19th Apr 16

      Thanks, Nadine. I hope he doesn’t hurt you anymore. I know you’ll find your soulmate. πŸ™‚

  4. Jen Morrow | 19th Apr 16

    Travel (and life in general) is completely transformed when you find the right person. Glad you found it. Never settle.

  5. Mickey | 19th Apr 16

    Glad you found the one for you. It does take some time doesn’t it and just when you are about to give up, God places someone in your path. Congrats and much happiness.
    xoxo Mickey http://www.mybashfullife.com/

  6. Acecily Alexander | 20th Apr 16

    Loved this! I like to believe we all have someone too, but I do believe we meet people along the way to shake us up!

  7. Dana Ivy @ www.iadorewhatilove.com | 20th Apr 16

    Ahhh every time my hubby throwing up our son in the air and makes him giggle so hard he can’t stop, I literally melt as well!! He does it all the time so I’m pretty used to it now but I’ll never reallllly get used to it! Love this post!!

    Xox Dana Ivy // http://www.iadorewhatilove.com

    • Katie | 20th Apr 16

      Thanks Dana! Glad to hear you’ve got yourself a sweet man too! πŸ™‚

  8. Tina | 20th Apr 16

    I found my soulmate totally unexpected while I was traveling. I love your blog post and it is so important I think not to go for a soulmate hunt, instead just let it happen naturally and you will meet him or her at one stage πŸ™‚

    • Katie | 20th Apr 16

      Completely agree. I think we always find what we are looking for once we stop looking… or sometimes even right where you left it. πŸ˜‰

  9. Heidi | 20th Apr 16

    Hi Katie! Sounds wonderful that you’ve found the relationship you’ve been looking for.

    I was also struggling years until I found the man I had been looking for. I found my happiness and love inside of myself first and then he entered into my life. And it was better I had been dreaming of!

    I believe that we have more power on creating the kind of love and relationships we want, that most of us realize.

    Enjoy the love that you’ve found! Wish all the best for both of you πŸ™‚

    • Katie | 20th Apr 16

      Thank you, Heidi! SO happy to hear of your own happiness. πŸ™‚ Best of luck to you as well!

  10. chantae | 20th Apr 16

    Beautiful! It’s obvious that you have a deep relationship and that you’ve formed such a wonderful little family together. Cute picture!

  11. siniciliya | 20th Apr 16

    This is such a beautiful post and I agree that the soulmates comes only when you are ready. He/she also need his/her time to prepare to meet you πŸ˜‰

    http://www.siniciliya.com

    • Katie | 20th Apr 16

      Thank you!! πŸ™‚

  12. Bernard Tan | 20th Apr 16

    I have not find my soulmate, but am super happy being alone at the moment! But i do agree to hold on tight when you found that person.

    • Katie | 20th Apr 16

      Glad you are happy alone, everyone needs that at some point in their life!! πŸ™‚

  13. jess_friend | 20th Apr 16

    What a lovely post. I knew that Tom (my partner in crime!) was my soul mate when I realised that he would follow me to the ends of the earth.

  14. Juliana W | 20th Apr 16

    I met a boy while studying abroad that I swore was my soul mate. He was my first true love and I gave everything I had to our relationship. Eventually, we had to do long distance, and I was so ready to sacrafice all my dreams of travelings to move to be with him. I’m so glad things between us ended because I NEEDED to have “fuck it year”. I realized now that I myself was seeing through rose-colored glasses, and am so glad I didn’t sacrifice my dreams for him. But I’m still hopeful in soul mates, and I know mine will come once I become my best self and do the things I want to do with my life πŸ™‚

  15. mishvo | 21st Apr 16

    I don’t know that I believe there is one single soulmate out there for us. Instead, I think there are different people who are right for us at any given time point. It could be 3 years, it could be 50.

  16. Epepa | 21st Apr 16

    I’ve already found my soulmate, the one I feel good with and who is always with me and I really appreciate this. I was never that happy before.

    • Katie | 21st Apr 16

      <3 So glad you have him!

  17. Sanket D. | 22nd Apr 16

    You know I’m at a place in life where all my friends and people I hang out with are beginning to get married! That puts a strange pressure and pull of time on you. But then I read this amazing post today about the joys of singlehood, and I realize that I actually am a living example of everything described in that post. One thing I Know for sure, finding your soulmate isn’t something you can plan or put a deadline on. It just happens – the best you can do and hope for is that you identify him/her when they come by, and not let them pass you by.

  18. Ann | 23rd Apr 16

    As something who craves change I do find myself thinking if there really is such thing as a soulmate or at times if all the trouble is worth it when there are just so many other people out there, especially as someone who is currently in a long distance relationship. It’s something I’ve always been against on doing for myself, knowing I wouldn’t like it, but it just sort of happened and now I just have to make sure I don’t let go.

  19. Alina Popescu | 23rd Apr 16

    I think we all should keep an open heart, and when we meet someone we connect with, try our best to stay close to them. I don’t personally believe in one single soulmate. I believe we connect better with some people than others, and when we find such a person, we should spare no effort in being with them.

  20. Cai Dominguez-Travelosyo | 26th Apr 16

    I’m happy that I you already found your better half, I wish that sooner or later I’ll find mine too.

  21. Jan | 12th Jun 16

    I am glad for you when read to this point. When you stop hunting, s/he will come and find you.

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