“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Things tend to fall apart for me when the weather starts to get cooler, in the end of October, beginning to mid-November. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fact that JJ and Wayne died at the beginning of November. Maybe it’s the Amena got murdered then. Maybe these events set me up for a perpetual cycle of sadness. And after that, it was me breaking up with…
It’s been a little while since I updated, for many reasons. I actually started to write the post about Stephen, the Navy boy I crossed paths with in Vienna, but my heart has been elsewhere, and I just haven’t felt up for diving into the life of the girl I was there. I’ve missed her. I’ve missed that feeling of time stopping for two weeks. I miss the feeling of being in another world, being another person. But time starts moving too fast sometimes, and now I’m in NC and…
I think when bad news is coming, sometimes your body knows it before you actually hear about it. All day today I’ve been on edge. All day I’ve had this sinking feeling, like the floor would fall out from under me any moment. I’ve lived with anxiety for years and I tried to push it aside but something kept nagging at me. Bad news is coming, it said. You just wait, it said. The feeling was right. I had every reason based on my mom’s appointment yesterday with her heme doctor to…