When I was a child, I had this vision of how my life would go. I’d become a professional dancer, singer & actress. I’d get married at 22 and have my first child by 23. Then I’d pop out four more in succession. I’d also travel all the time. This was how I thought my life would turn out. I never imagined that the picture-perfect image would fade. I never imagined I’d get dealt different cards.
We all have this idea of how our life will turn out, and when it doesn’t turn out that way it’s pretty scary shit. Maybe you thought you’d retire by 55 but had to wait until you were 70. Maybe you expected your parents to be around but they both died in their fifties. Maybe you got pregnant out of wedlock instead of waiting until you had a ring on your finger to do the deed. Any way you slice it, life doesn’t slow down for us. It doesn’t wait for us to be ready. It doesn’t place things in the order in which we hoped. Sometimes we don’t even get the card we need. Or, at least we think we need. Because honestly, life is a little more fun when we don’t know what’s coming next, don’t you think?
So I sit here, writing this blog post, thinking of all my failures, all my mistake, all my lessons learn, and I have to think that from the outside looking in, so many would say that the fact that I was divorced at 24 was a failure (you can read about my wedding day here). But that’s not the case. Here are 6 reasons why getting divorced in your twenties is anything but a failure.
You grew up. You got humbled. You learned to be brave. You were bold and fearless saying “when.” You learned what you did and didn’t need in a partner, and you bartered the heck out of getting out of it. And now, you’re young and free. You’re able to look forward and seek out your soulmate with brand new eyes. You have this advantage to other girls your age. They don’t know what it is like to feel the weight of that ring, knowing it is something you just want to break free of. They don’t realize how big of a commitment marriage really is yet. They don’t understand how much you have lived in such a short period of time going through a marriage and a divorced. (You’re probably 100 in dog years by now.)
So when you have those days where you look in the mirror and wonder how you could let a marriage fall apart, stop and tell yourself this: “I am not a failure. Divorce isn’t the end of the world. I will still find my soulmate.”
Because you will. And when you do, actually saying “I do” will mean that much more.