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Category: Dating
It’s been a little while since I updated, for many reasons. I actually started to write the post about Stephen, the Navy boy I crossed paths with in Vienna, but my heart has been elsewhere, and I just haven’t felt up for diving into the life of the girl I was there. I’ve missed her. I’ve missed that feeling of time stopping for two weeks. I miss the feeling of being in another world, being another person. But time starts moving too fast sometimes, and now I’m in NC and…
The boys of Europe will each warrant their own post. I’m working on it, I promise. Stephen, if you are reading this, you just wait for your day to shine. 🙂 You’ve been warned! As far as the boys (we will call them boys because it still feels weird to say men; am I that grown up?) since Europe (and some previous), there have been a few. None of these really warrant their own post, except maybe Lance, but I plan to leave some things out simply because he shouldn’t have that much “air…
Is this why I came home? Is my mom being sick the reason I couldn’t stay in Vienna? My mind never stops. I can’t shake the German from my mind as much as I can’t shake my mom. These two people have impacted my life more than anyone. How is it possible that I can’t have love and I can’t have happiness? I can’t lose my mom. I just can’t. I think back to Vienna all the time. Why did it move me so much? Why…
“Oh come on, I thought you were going to be the fun Katie,” he says to me, pulling my wrist and pushing his body against me, his breath tickling my neck as he speaks. Tim* (*Names have been changed) has been drinking as long as I have, since 9 am and it is now well past midnight, almost one. “Get off of me, Tim,” I say, twisting my arm in a way that doesn’t feel good, trying to relieve myself of his grip, trying to get closer to the door. “Oh stop.”…
What do all of these have in common? Well, they either went on a date with me or.. . um… kissed me. The German you now know the story of, but there were other boys before him, and between the times I saw him. While Chris was unavailable due to flying, I continued to Tinder. It was more for company than anything else, and to meet new people. Luckily, I got some pretty great stories out of it. I will first start with the Australian, who, as unmemorable as he is, warrants a full post just for the simple reason…
I don’t want to end this story because it was much to beautiful to close the book. But, I have to be a realist sometime. I can’t always be the dreamer. I fell in love with Chris the way that only movies dictate. I didn’t believe it was possible to care so much about a human being that fast. But it is. And even though now we slowly stopped speaking. Even though it may have meant way less to him. I will never look back on my time in Vienna and think that…
The next time I saw Chris, he met up with Rachel and I at 1516 (an expat bar off stephensplatz) after Rachel and I had one too many drinks. To be honest, I don’t think either of us remember getting there. I do, however, remember how amazing those potato wedges with cheese and ranch were. Or maybe I was just drunk and excited about the prospect of ranch in Europe. But I digress… We sit at a small table and talk and laugh and Chris eats some food. When it’s time to leave, Chris…
“I think he really messed me up,” I say, avoiding his eyes. “I didn’t want to say anything but you have. You weren’t like this before him. He did a number on you.” Sometimes, it takes someone reflecting a truth back at you to realize how much it really is true. Sure, I’ve noticed, but until I heard it repeated back at me, I had no idea how big of a difference it was. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m not the optimistic girl who thought…
I’ve been reluctant to write about the German. Part of me felt like as soon as I did, then that was it. I’d just be writing a memory. And I didn’t want him to be a memory for everyone to read about. I wanted him to be real. I wanted those days to stay fresh in my head. I wanted them to be a comfort when I was having the constant Vienna withdrawals I’d been having lately. But I can’t keep him in my head forever. He’s…
The thing I love most about writing is it gives me the opportunity to express myself in ways I can never say aloud. While some people may have opinions of how they interpret said writing, they don’t know what the truth is. I received a comment on my last post, one that got me thinking. There are always people on the outside looking in. Always people who have one side and think they know the truth. While I don’t blame them for not understanding, they can’t fully understand without both sides. They see what…
