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Browsing Tag: depression
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Things tend to fall apart for me when the weather starts to get cooler, in the end of October, beginning to mid-November. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fact that JJ and Wayne died at the beginning of November. Maybe it’s the Amena got murdered then. Maybe these events set me up for a perpetual cycle of sadness. And after that, it was me breaking up with…
Dear Readers, It’s been a rough couple of days. I know that sometimes my social media makes it seem like things are happy & grand, but I think that’s the point of social media. Sometimes we just want to show the world the best of us. Because, honestly, I don’t think people always want to hear the bad stuff. They don’t want to have to pity us, or act like they care. It’s a harsh truth, but a truth if nothing else. I recently posted a photo on my instagram of my boyfriend and I…
“I just want to feel numb,” I tell her. She stops typing and looks up at me, her eyes kind with worry. “That’s a normal thing to be feeling. You’re going through a lot.” I nod, though it is weak, and take a deep breath. This is only the second time I’ve seen my doctor, Jan*, and I already know she gets it. She wants me to feel better. She prods about other situations in my life and acknowledges them as heavy, heavier than I’ve let on, even…
I think when bad news is coming, sometimes your body knows it before you actually hear about it. All day today I’ve been on edge. All day I’ve had this sinking feeling, like the floor would fall out from under me any moment. I’ve lived with anxiety for years and I tried to push it aside but something kept nagging at me. Bad news is coming, it said. You just wait, it said. The feeling was right. I had every reason based on my mom’s appointment yesterday with her heme doctor to…
