The truth is, I am so sick of dating. I started writing a post about my latest dating fail, but I can’t stop thinking about how much I wish this whole dating thing was over. I just want to have a family. I don’t mean I’m ready to pop out a ton of babies – because I’m definitely not ready for more – but that feeling of family, of feeling at home with someone… that’s what I miss.
But I don’t want to force anything, or settle. I probably could’ve been in a relationship a few times this year, but I don’t think I’d be happy. If I’m going to be with someone, it’s because I see potential with them. I haven’t seen that yet with many, and the couple I have, well, they obviously haven’t worked out.
With my mom being sick, I can’t help but want to have that support of a family of my own. I remember how good it felt to make plans with someone, to think you may grow old with them, start a life. I want to make those kinds of plans. I want my mom to still be here when I’m making them. I want her to know that someone has my heart, and they will treat me well. I want her to see that she’s leaving me in good hands when it’s her time to go.
My parents are selling me their house and I can’t help but think that it would be nice to be building this home with someone by my side.
It’s nice to think about these things…but it’s also something I can’t make happen.
I’m just ready for the real deal. I’m so sick of playing the dating game. It’s tiring. I’m getting too old for this.
Where’s my future husband when I need him? ha.