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Treacherous Ground…

“Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.” — Caitlyn Siehl…

A little sprinkle of hope.

It’s been a little while since I updated, for many reasons. I actually started to write the post about Stephen, the Navy boy I crossed paths with in Vienna, but my heart has been elsewhere, and I just haven’t felt up for diving into the life of the girl I was there. I’ve missed her. I’ve missed that feeling of time stopping for two weeks. I miss the feeling of being in another world, being another person. But time starts moving too fast sometimes, and now I’m in NC and…

After the boys of summer are gone…

The boys of Europe will each warrant their own post. I’m working on it, I promise. Stephen, if you are reading this, you just wait for your day to shine. 🙂 You’ve been warned! As far as the boys (we will call them boys because it still feels weird to say men; am I that grown up?) since Europe (and some previous), there have been a few. None of these really warrant their own post, except maybe Lance, but I plan to leave some things out simply because he shouldn’t have that much “air…

Missing Magic

Is this why I came home? Is my mom being sick the reason I couldn’t stay in Vienna? My mind never stops. I can’t shake the German from my mind as much as I can’t shake my mom. These two people have impacted my life more than anyone. How is it possible that I can’t have love and I can’t have happiness? I can’t lose my mom. I just can’t. I think back to Vienna all the time. Why did it move me so much? Why…

“You’re the prettiest lady in the whole wide world”

I think when bad news is coming, sometimes your body knows it before you actually hear about it. All day today I’ve been on edge. All day I’ve had this sinking feeling, like the floor would fall out from under me any moment. I’ve lived with anxiety for years and I tried to push it aside but something kept nagging at me. Bad news is coming, it said. You just wait, it said. The feeling was right. I had every reason based on my mom’s appointment yesterday with her heme doctor to…

Tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is the big day!! Tomorrow I will board three separate planes to get to a final destination of BUDAPEST! There, I will meet up with Kryss and we will have the fun task of getting to our hotel and then exploring the city! I’m using so many exclamation points because I’m SO SO SO SO excited. Sorry, ya’ll. The schedule goes a little something like this: Tomorrow/Early Friday: Fly to DC –> Fly to Frankfurt –> Fly to Budapest Friday: Explore Budapest Saturday: Morning in Budapest, take a bus in…

“One thing that…

“One thing that helps is to give myself permission to write badly. I tell myself that I’m going to do my five or 10 pages no matter what, and that I can always tear them up the following morning if I want. I’ll have lost nothing—writing and tearing up five pages would leave me no further behind than if I took the day off.” —Lawrence Block, WD…

“If you want to…

“If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as…