this is a page for

Category: Dealing with Loss

Happy Birthday, Mama.

I’ve been thinking about what I would say in this post all morning. I’ve always been better about writing my feelings than actually saying them. But some things are just hard, plain and simple. Some days are exhausting. There’s a perfect trifecta in my life now. It’s like the Bermuda triangle for my happiness. First, Mother’s day. Then your birthday. Then, finally, when I finally start to feel a little okay again, there’s the day you left us. Three dates following each other, only a couple of weeks…

Related Post

Raising a Daughter Without Your Mom

Raising a daughter without your mom… An essay about raising a daughter without your mom. I roamed the streets of Dublin in a haze that shifted from confused to mad to heartbroken with every step. When I saw a small bookstore with signs in the window advertising a going-out-of-business sale, everything only 5 euros, I went inside, leaving my emotions on the street. They didn’t belong in such a sacred space. I found a book smeared in shades of lavender, a color my mom painted our downstairs bathroom. It was called “Love’s Last Gift…

Related Post

The devil that is grief.

Grief is the devil. He’s been around a lot lately, more so than I care to let on. In the shower. On the closet floor when I’m organizing my socks. On the drive to work. In bed late at night. When I spill something. When my son gives me an attitude. When my daughter won’t stop crying. When a thought pops into my head of something I need to ask or tell my mother. Grief is all consuming in the darkness. Grief is a never ending ladder in the light, one I keep climbing…

Related Post

10 Things That Happen When You Grieve The Loss of Your Mom

Grieving the loss of my mom It’s been a little over two months since I lost my mom to cancer. Dealing with my mom dying has been the hardest task I’ve ever faced. When I say the words “I lost my mom” out loud, they don’t seem right, because a lost sock can be found again. This isn’t just a missing sock. This is a huge hole in my gut, which will never, ever go away. Losing a parent means you’ve joined a club with people who understand that just walking out the front…

Related Post

The Day the Music Died

We had prepared for this day, as a family. We knew what was coming. We knew what her wishes were for after. Because, there would be an after – a time when her wishes were all that was left. I held steadfast to the idea that she would outlast the numbers. When she was first diagnosed with stage 3A ovarian cancer, I remember sitting in the cream-colored chair in our living room, my knees pressing into my chest. She was sitting on the couch across the room from me with my dad. “Fifty-five percent,” I said. “If you do…

Related Post