I’m not very good at betting. I’m not very good at choosing the right guys. I think we all know that by now. I choose guys I think I can fix. I choose guys who are broken. So when I consciously chose a guy who didn’t seem broken, I thought maybe things would be different. But alas, I was wrong once again.
The thing is, I’m not upset. I’ve grown to expect this kind of thing. I’m more… Disappointed. Not for myself, but for people in general. You want to believe there is good in the world. You want to believe that maybe somewhere out there, someone will have your best interest at heart. But I’m learning that no one does. It will always be you. You have to be strong for yourself.
It took me a long time to get where I am today. It took me a very, very long time to see any kind of good in anyone. So yes, I’m disappointed. I really thought doing it different this time would help.
Its a selfish world out there. You can’t expect anyone to play the game any differently. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you stop getting hurt and have a wall. Thank god for the wall that keeps all those girlish emotions at bay. Because without it, I just may have fallen apart.
Guess there’s a perk to having daddy issues. You get told you’re not good enough long enough, you become numb to it. I’m so glad I didn’t have expectations.